I feel like my life is changing and I don't even realize it. When did I become an adult? I got my job, my house, and engaged to my husband within 3 months of each other. Was that it? Was it when I decided what graduate program I wanted to go into, thus decided my career? Was it when I realized that we were ready to start a family, but not yet?
I never felt like much of an adult living in Astoria. I think of those are my livin' life years. I don't get scared or see the next steps I plan on taking in my life as intimidating or something I should fear, like I am losing my youth or something. I have managed to pretty much enjoy and move on between my youth, my teens, my young adult life, and now I am in medium adult life? Quarterlife crisis my ass. I plan on trying to enjoy, be calm, and live each year to the fullest. Will it happen? No, but I am in a mildly zen place at this second, so let's try to make it last. There are a couple people in my life who have fairly chaotic lives and I was there and it made me appreciate how lucky I am to be settled... no that's not the right word.. content. That's more like it.
I have had serious anxiety issues, and I have no doubt that they have not gone away completely, but I would like to try to see everything as a joy instead of a pain. I cannot wait til Spring. The smells, the weather, and the idea of fresh beginnings gets me every year.
Right now, my cheat day is exciting me. Tomorrow = seafood, cheese, and chocolate.
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