Fast forward

I will admit there were days where I thought to myself, why can't I just fast forward? I just want this day/week/month/season to be done. But recently, I have been seeing people posting online about wanting to get through to the next weekend or vacation or holiday, and I think about how it is important to slow down, enjoy what you do, and not live every moment waiting for it to be "later."

I have been privileged enough to enjoy what I do for the past 4 years. Prior to that, I enjoyed my life and parts of my job and tried to focus on those things, but there were clearly things I was unhappy with. However, it didn't take me too long to make the changes necessary to fix this issues I had that made me want to "fast forward." When I got to a point where I questioned if this is where I wanted to live for the rest of my life and if this was the field I would find the most happiness, the advice of my now MIL helped open a door to a field I didn't even know really existed because I had never thought that hard about how education administration even worked.

Now, I find myself enjoying my new job after leaving SJC, my life with my husband and my dogs, time spent with friends and family. I think that one of the main factors of the need to skip ahead is daily drags like a job you are unhappy with or being overly tired/stressed. I cannot speak for everyone or fix anyone's situation, but I do wish that instead of complaining and focusing on the negatives, we enjoy what we have, who we have it with, and where we are at right now. 

I know that it is not simple nor easy to get up and move on a from a job that doesn't fulfill you. I for sure know that it there are rarely complete "dream jobs," but it is worth the effort to do the best you can, learn more, grow where you can, and find your niche. 

So right now I want to give a shout out to the past, for getting me to this point in my life and making me who I am, and a look forward to the future. It will come when it comes, and I will try my best to enjoy each day as it rolls by. 

Ferris Bueller said it best: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Merry Christmas everyone!

November randomness

We saw this at a house on a heritage house tour and G wants to try to make it out of the palette we have. 

Also... My puppies are adorable!

It's November, which means it's the holiday season! I love Christmas, but November means one amazing thing... THE GEORGETOWN BURRITO IS COMING BACK!!! I don't know when, but at some point, Bubba's Burrito Bar in Islip will bring back their amazing thanksgiving burrito!

Also it means that we have a winery date next weekend, then my last day at my job and first day of my new job, AC for a friend's birthday, books club, the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who episode, and Catching Fire! The adult and teen in me are very excited. 

New beginnings

Right now my hubby is installing a new toilet (yay owning a house!), while I am enjoying a minor pulled muscle in my back. This thing better work it's way out before my work event tomorrow! I love candles so I have my apple cider candle AND my pumpkin pie candle going. I love it because I get to enjoy the smells without the calories.

I got the job I applied for, and I have two weeks until it begins! Whenever people ask me how I feel, I think the perfect word to describe it is bittersweet. I know it is a great opportunity and I think I will enjoy it, but it is a big change and still going into a new job is always kind of scary. When I left my last job before this one, I was so ready to move on. I liked the work I was doing, but did not like the company I was working for. Now I am leaving a place and coworkers that I have gotten very attached to. Last night we all went out to say goodbye to another coworker who is moving on, and it just reminds me how close I have gotten to all of them. I thought I would be at this job longer, but I am excited that a job that utilizes my qualifications so well opened up and I think I would be silly to pass it up. My boss has said a couple times that, who knows, maybe I will come back. And that's true, I don't know. I do hope that I will enjoy my job. I plan on getting some audiobooks to get me used to a normal work commute instead of the 5 minutes my current commute it (I know, I was spoiled). I will miss my days off and extra time with my husband and puppies, I know that. But I am trying to be optimistic. I am a combination of nervous and excited. I hope I can prove my worth at the new job the way I did at my soon-to-be former one.

Changes define who we are and as my tattoo says, "It starts with an ending..."

Next steps

I have been terrible about blogging for a good long while.  Mostly because very few people actually read it. So much is going on lately between work, weddings, Red Cross, house stuff. I am mostly exhausted.  Some of the stuff keeping me busy is fun, such as outlet shopping, book club, movies, a good friend's wedding. Some of it is for work like college fairs and learning how to run a Red Cross shelter with the club I advise. Some of it is just running around.

I am feeling kind of selfish because I was really looking forward to some days off this weekend, but (talk about the last minute), the coordinator for our region of the Red Cross youth organization says we can do shelter training this Sunday. Nothing like waking up super early after a wedding in New Jersey the day before.

There are definitely worse things in the world than being booked up with happy things. I could be booked with sad things, bad things.

Just thinking about this week makes me sleepy. It is very nice to have at least one room in my house that I enjoy and spend most of my waking time in. Next step (pun intended) is getting our stairs done.

I think I wanted to have a halloween party, but I think I am overwhelming myself. Instead I will enjoy the gatherings my friends are having and continue to ignore my messy house.

Applications and what I am grateful for...

Today I applied for a job for the first time in 4 years. I am so unbelievably grateful to have a secure job that pays me enough to live comfortably. The job position posted is currently listed as the same pay as my current job and has pros and cons. But for now, I am trying not to over think those pros and cons until I interview or am offered the position...

But while I am thinking about it.. off the top of my head...

Pros:
FLSA Exempt (paid overtime)
State job
Good benefits
No more recruiting
Less to no night/weekend work

Cons:
No more summer Fridays
No more Christmas break, Spring break, holidays off
Farther from home (which means traffic and gas)
All my sick time I have been saving up will be gone
I don't know who my manager would be; could be better, could be worse than my current job

So there are a lot of factors, but the good thing is, this has given me a chance to update my resume, write  cover letter and go through a process that I should be more up-to-date on. I do ideally want to work at a state school, since the pay and benefits are often better and this is the second closest one. I think I am fairly well qualified for it. I meet all the qualifications and many of the preferred qualifications.

So we shall see. For now, my focus is enjoying the job I have, looking forward to my 3 year anniversary (11 days!), Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and being happy that I would not be distraught if it doesn't work out with this position.

Plus I have a super cute husband who loves and appreciates me. What more could I ask for?

Anyway,  I am going to miss summer like crazy, but August sure did not feel summer-like. So I shall enjoy pumpkin spices and boots.

A proud milestone - Graduate Graduation

So yesterday was my graduation from the School of Professional Development at Stony Brook University. It was a day I won't soon forget... for a number of reasons. Early in the day, my husband and I went to a brunch for my program at the program director's house. It was very nice and I felt super special because he congratulated me as the star of the program. Brunch was awesome and I got to meet some people who came down for graduation but took the program online. I took half of my degree online and half in class, so it was nice to meet classmates I never met before.

Me and Ally K.

Fast forward to the graduation ceremony. I was a bit nervous, and I didn't know a lot of people graduating. My program was small, but the School of Professional Development is a big graduate program. I realized that day that I might have received the wrong hood color, but it turned out that half of us got the generic white hood for a Masters of Arts and some of us got the blue hood for Masters of Arts in Education. I had a blue one. I matched my program director, so that made me feel a bit better. Then I filled out my card for ... something and handed it back. Well it turned out to be my card with my name and email for when I walk up to accept my degree. So the guy who took it was looking for me and I was looking for him and that took about 15 minutes. So finally, I had my hood fears assuaged, I got my name card, and I was lined up for graduation. At 5:30, we walked in at sat down facing the stage and the dean of the SPD program began. While he was introducing people, I looked in the commencement program. As he is reading through names, I see my name.. under the section titled "Platform Party." A.k.a. all the people sitting up on the stage. So I get a little nervous, but no one had told me I had to be on stage, so I just let it go.

But then I looked to my left and saw someone trying to catch my eye. It was the woman who nominated me for the award. She mouthed to me, "Come here!" I mouthed back, "Right now?!" She nodded, "Right now!" So I left the graduates and walked over and out of the auditorium. Samantha said that she was so sorry, but I was supposed to be on stage and no one told me. So we walked to the other side around the back and when there was a pause from the dean, they told me to go up on stage and take my seat.

Which was right in the middle.

In the first row.

Woah.

Cheryl, who was presenting me with my award, said she was worried I wasn't there. My program director was sitting behind me said "Welcome to the big kids table!" Which made me laugh.They highlighted a couple faculty with awards, during which time, Cheryl asked me if I was told I could make a speech. "Uh no?" was my response. She said, "Oh, okay, don't worry about it," but I told her I wanted to thank some people. So for a while, I just kept repeating the names of those people I wanted to thank in my head over and over. So they highlighted two faculty members, two students' project seminar papers, the girls who were going to be representing the program and carrying the banner at main commencement, and they had a student speaker. Then they got to me. They introduced Cheryl, who represented the SPD Alumni and who works as an Assistant Dean at Stony Brook. I have never met her before, but she had a speech prepared about the award, the program, and me. The award came from the Alumni Association and was the Dean's Choice award (which we learned about in my previous post). Cheryl must have talked to my program director, because she told everyone about my GPA, my project seminar thesis topic, how I worked at SJC full time while going to school, and my passion for social media and higher education. I didn't know where to look the whole time. There was a photographer and everyone once in a while, I would look over at my family who had the biggest smiles. It made me so happy to make them proud. I had never felt so honored and special (except maybe my wedding day).

I can barely describe that feeling. I tone it down a lot, or as much as I can, when I talk about it, but honestly, it was a moment in my life I will never forget. I put a lot of work into this program and set a high standard for myself. And maybe I didn't get a 4.0, but I worked hard for my 3.96. I have this pull to try to be humble about this and tone everything down, but screw it. This was big, surprising, and and special. When I was up on the stage accepting my award and later walking across the stage, I couldn't even hear the applause. I tune everything out and try my hardest not to trip.

Dean's Choice Alumni Award winner

I have not written a post in a good long while here, but I think this is a good reason to get back in the swing of things.

I recently finished my last class for my graduate program and my graduation is May 23! I could not be more excited to be able to read for fun, but I will miss my program. I met some great people, got a lot of good insight into higher education and its future. But just to top the cherry on the graduation sundae, I received this email today:


Hi Jacqueline,

On behalf of the Dean of the School of Professional Development and the Alumni Association, I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected as the Dean's Choice Alumni Award winner for 2013. Samantha Segal, Assistant Director of the Higher Education Administration program, nominated you based on your grades and the enthusiastic feedback provided by your practicum supervisor. 

This recognition comes with a cash award of $1000. [...]

Congratulations on completing your degree with distinction. We are looking forward to seeing you at graduation.

Regards,
Shawna

I found myself crying and shaking (maybe an overreaction, but I never, ever win things and it was baffling to be recognized in that program).  It would have been enough to win an award for my graduate program, but a  cash award as well is over-the-top. I am excited for the next chapter in my life, but this is one I am pretty sad to end. (Am I sad enough to consider a doctorate in the field right now? No, I am not that sad.)

So, I would like to give special recognition here to those who made this whole thing possible. There are three  people I could not have done this without:

Gordon: My amazingly supportive husband, co-payer, proofer, and cheerleader.
Lynne: Going through grad school together helped me keep my sanity. We proofed each others stuff and I think I sent more to you than anyone else.
Kristine: For proofing (yes, I had a lot of proofreaders, you don't get As by not having someone else review your work), reminding me that there is an end to grad school, and being proud of me. I tend to put myself down a lot, and you help build me back up. I hope I do the same for you.

My mom and sister, Erin, are coming in for my grad school graduation, which is amazingly sweet of them. In my head I try to tone down my excitement about graduation because most people probably don't even go to their graduate graduation (cough, Gordon, cough). But I feel like I put a lot of work into my program and I am excited to have a formal ending to it all.

Update: I told my boss about the award and she was thrilled. She had me send it to her to share with the VP and President of the College. That kind of just made my day even better.

Losing it

Jezebel, my favorite source for lady news, if you can call it that, had two articles today that resonated with me. You’re Lazy and Hate the Gym Because God and Science Made You That Way and Why Don’t Women Say ‘I’m Pretty?’ Here Are Ten Reasons. These two articles were aptly timed for me. It reminds me about this time at a Christmas party for work this past December. A coworker took a picture of me and I said in passing, "Oh, I look pretty here." I couldn't believe how much shit she gave me for it. When she posted it on Facebook, she even wrote that it was the self proclaimed pretty picture. Why is it such a big deal that I thought I looked nice and why should I be made to feel stupid for saying so. Even though I am sure she would say she is joking, it is a fairly consistent theme for women to play down their attractiveness. I already have some self image issues, but every once in a while, I think I am not to bad. At least my husband things so. But we require so much reassurance, there is no way for anyone to keep up with it. Even a friend of mine made a comment this weekend that I looked like I lost weight. I was not on a diet and I am the heaviest I have ever been. It actually made me feel so much worse that usual. She on the other hand is sickly thin looking. I worry about her, but I should be worrying about my own weight gain. Which brings up the other article. I really have no inclination to work out. I miss salsa dancing, but it is expensive and I have a low exercise drive to do it myself at home. But alas, despite genetics or any hatred of movement, I am going to diet and exercise. Honestly it doesn't matter how I look or how others look. Health is important and I am making some poor decisions. But my husband is freaking rocking his diet and looking fine as hell. I need to step it up. I bought kettle bells a month ago and only used them around 3 times total. So I had him write me up a kettle bell workout system. I am starting tonight working out and using My Fitness Pal app to get me on track and not over eating. So I am limiting myself to 1210 calories per day and kettle bell on Monday and Thursday.  I am hoping to add in Saturdays as well, but I want to start slow and build up.

I just ordered these two dresses on Modcloth and dammit! I want to look good in them. Or at least decent. I'll always be curvy. This booty is here to stay.

Home and Family

Thanks a lot body. I was a full week late today and starting to accept the fact that I really could be preggers. I knew it was too early to speculate and I decided I would wait til I was a full week late to take a test. So right before I was going to go out and get lunch with the hubby (yay snow days!) and pick up a test, I got it. Of freaking course. I have never been late before more than a day or two. Today I was almost convinced it could be real and started planning home projects. We both tried not to get too excited about it. We have not been trying that long in grand scheme, but every day I was late was so nerve racking. It is impossible for me not to over think things, and especially when it is something I am noticing every day. "Will it come now? I think I got it, no, that wasn't it." It freaking blows. I feel like being a lady blows sometimes. Trying not to get pregnant for so long and then mentally preparing ourselves and then trying. Trying to have a baby is not for the impatient. There is a lot of waiting and hoping. And a lot of disappointment at something that comes every month for many years before you really start caring about it.

Well, every woman who wants kids goes through this and it sucks, but I will suck it up and move forward. I am just so freaking lucky to have the best man in the world doing this with me.

In the meantime, we spent part of today laying out our goals for the year for the house. Repainting the cabinets in the kitchen, painting the counters (it can be done!), tiling or getting laminate for the kitchen floor, wall unit for the living room, painting and staining the molding in the living room, redoing the stairs, and possibly moving the laundry and making it have it's own space in the living room. Also my MIL offered to get us french doors for our living room out to the backyard, which will be an added bonus. I am not sure how we will budget this, but I think we can make it work.

G's choice for new wall unit. I love IKEA.

Update...

New winner.... 

I refuse to call this winter storm Nemo..

Benny and Olive made a valiant attempt to take on the massive amount of snow we got last night. It looks to be about 12-16 inches at our house, but reached 30 inches at other points of the island.

Since then we have shoveled them a little walk way but now that they don't see the snow as a threat, they have been in and out and chasing each other through big snow mounds. Currently, Olive is covered in snow. From the looks of it, she just walked straight into a mound of snow. She is light enough that when this melts some but freezes tonight, she will be able to walk on it, but Ben will likely not be so lucky.

We have not even attempted to try to shovel out the cars yet and the wind is whipping outside, as I type, making it seem fairly pointless even if we did try. No folks, today is a day to be trapped inside, but we have the wonderful and glorious Netflix, Hulu, and media center full of movies to keep us warm and entertained. Gordon has his gym in the shed and I have homework I should be doing.

We were at least smart enough to park our cars at the end of the driveway. We can't get a snowblower because of the stupid beach pebble driveway (I hate this driveway). Just now I took this picture of our cars to send to a friend.

For now, it is back to homework avoidance and more television. Stay tuned!

Genealogy

I have a new favorite website: https://familysearch.org

So far, I have learned about my Dad's family, which he never talked about. The only thing I knew was his father's first name was Aubert, because that was his middle name. But even with that little bit of knowledge, I found out his parents were Andrea (from Denmark!!) and Lars (from Norway!). LARS! What an awesome name. He was possibly an only child, from what I can tell. Lars was drafted for the WWII, but was 56 at the time, so he likely didn't fight. His parents were both from Norway, so I could trace back my dad's family to Norway. I wonder if they have any records there...

On my mom's side, I learned about my grandmother and grandfather. They're all from NY. (Represent!) I wish I could find information about their grandparents to see what countries they are from. I know Ireland and Germany, but I would love to know who and when. My husband's family on his mother's side is from Hungary. Beyond that we couldn't find too much.

So what did we learn today? What we already know, our kids will never tan and we need to buy stock in SPF 100.

Masters

I just applied for graduation from my master's program. I am so pumped and ready to be done. My husband will also be applying for graduation soon. We will graduate in May and Masters.. of something or other! I promise not to be one of those people who signs her name Jacqueline, MA.

And now that the grad programs are winding down, it is onto the next step. Family.

2/5 is National Nutella Day

I opened this with all intentions of writing about... something. Whatever, it's gone now.

I am super, insanely proud of my best lady friend over at the lower free bridge who completed her written comps for her PhD this weekend and will do her oral defense at the end of the month. I can't even imagine balancing PhD work and office work, and I give her huge props for doing this.

I have had a terrible habit lately of eating anything and everything bad for me. I know that the logical thing would be to do like a cheese free week or something to change things up. Right now, I want to focus on getting the leftovers from G's birthday out of my fridge, which mainly consists of pizza, pasta, and chicken, and a spinach dip, which I think I should bring in for lunch so I stop spending money, but I have no energy in the morning to do anything ever. I don't want to throw the food out because, frankly, I spent a lot of money on it and I don't want it to be a waste. But it was all worth it, because I was really focused on trying to make sure my husband had an awesome 30th birthday.

Happy Birthday, my love!

Yesterday, I wrote out all my assignments for my internship and online class and May cannot come soon enough. And I really should submit my detailed course information for my proposed social media course. I am just so nervous that it is terrible and dumb. 

Tonight the hubby and I go to the eye doctor. Hooray for new glasses and contacts!

Doctor Who and January Updates

This morning I woke up from a very intense, active dream which basically involved me in the weirdest Doctor Who episode. There was pizza, rocket missile mountains, dinosaurs (I think?), River Song, me, some kids, swimming pools, babies, and farms. And that was the end of the dream. I woke up right after I got a message from the Doctor about where to meet him. 

So in celebration of a Doctor dream and probably the closest I will ever get to being a companion, I wore my blazer I bought to cosplay the 11th Doctor to work today. No bow tie though, despite their coolness factor. 

It's weird. My last semester of "classes" start back up Monday, but I am not going to campus, because one is online and the other is an internship in financial aid. Today I am going to lunch with my internship supervisor, the director of financial aid, to discuss the goals and tasks of my internship. I am excited about it taking place at Panera. I am not looking forward to the hungry look in the eyes of the financial aid staff last night when I talked to them and they heard they were getting an intern.

In other news, my friend Beanie, over at Motion Picture Mission, found this money savings challenge on Pinterest yesterday and we both decided to do it. I deposited $10 from my checking to savings to get started, but next Friday is just $5, $6 the week after. I really needed something to spur me to save money, considering I haven't added to my savings since we moved in the house. I was going to set up transfers, but I like seeing the difference every week. 

My office-mate is out today, which means listening to music and taking all the appointments. 

It is real!

The Professor strikes again. I just talked to the English dept chair about the new Journalism major and she asked that I submit a fleshed out course description with goals, key readings, and objectives. I also have to come up with a title. I honestly think Social Media and Marketing is the most descriptive and catchy title for my course, so I might just stick with that. We also talked about offering it online, which I think I will do for the fall and then try in person in the spring.  Oh, and yea, she wants me to offer it in the fall. THIS FALL!! When we discussed it last, she thought I could teach in Spring 2014 at the earliest. Wow! I am now going to be finishing my masters degree and working on a course I will teach at the same time. It blows my mind. I mean, I guess I have been studying this stuff and living it since January 2008. 5 years, that's weirddddd to think about . I've been out of college almost 6 years. When the crap did that happen!! And my 10 year high school reunion is coming up! Too much is going on. It is all blowing my mind. I am going to be doing an internship with another department on campus on top of working and doing another online course. So if you don't hear from me until I graduate in May...  now you know why.


Also, it is the hubby's 30th birthday next week!! I am excited and can't wait! I can't believe all we have accomplished in the past couple years. And the Superbowl falls on his birthday this year, which really, could not be more perfect. Happy birthday, my love!