Me and Ally K.
Fast forward to the graduation ceremony. I was a bit nervous, and I didn't know a lot of people graduating. My program was small, but the School of Professional Development is a big graduate program. I realized that day that I might have received the wrong hood color, but it turned out that half of us got the generic white hood for a Masters of Arts and some of us got the blue hood for Masters of Arts in Education. I had a blue one. I matched my program director, so that made me feel a bit better. Then I filled out my card for ... something and handed it back. Well it turned out to be my card with my name and email for when I walk up to accept my degree. So the guy who took it was looking for me and I was looking for him and that took about 15 minutes. So finally, I had my hood fears assuaged, I got my name card, and I was lined up for graduation. At 5:30, we walked in at sat down facing the stage and the dean of the SPD program began. While he was introducing people, I looked in the commencement program. As he is reading through names, I see my name.. under the section titled "Platform Party." A.k.a. all the people sitting up on the stage. So I get a little nervous, but no one had told me I had to be on stage, so I just let it go.
But then I looked to my left and saw someone trying to catch my eye. It was the woman who nominated me for the award. She mouthed to me, "Come here!" I mouthed back, "Right now?!" She nodded, "Right now!" So I left the graduates and walked over and out of the auditorium. Samantha said that she was so sorry, but I was supposed to be on stage and no one told me. So we walked to the other side around the back and when there was a pause from the dean, they told me to go up on stage and take my seat.
Which was right in the middle.
In the first row.
Woah.
Cheryl, who was presenting me with my award, said she was worried I wasn't there. My program director was sitting behind me said "Welcome to the big kids table!" Which made me laugh.They highlighted a couple faculty with awards, during which time, Cheryl asked me if I was told I could make a speech. "Uh no?" was my response. She said, "Oh, okay, don't worry about it," but I told her I wanted to thank some people. So for a while, I just kept repeating the names of those people I wanted to thank in my head over and over. So they highlighted two faculty members, two students' project seminar papers, the girls who were going to be representing the program and carrying the banner at main commencement, and they had a student speaker. Then they got to me. They introduced Cheryl, who represented the SPD Alumni and who works as an Assistant Dean at Stony Brook. I have never met her before, but she had a speech prepared about the award, the program, and me. The award came from the Alumni Association and was the Dean's Choice award (which we learned about in my previous post). Cheryl must have talked to my program director, because she told everyone about my GPA, my project seminar thesis topic, how I worked at SJC full time while going to school, and my passion for social media and higher education. I didn't know where to look the whole time. There was a photographer and everyone once in a while, I would look over at my family who had the biggest smiles. It made me so happy to make them proud. I had never felt so honored and special (except maybe my wedding day).
I can barely describe that feeling. I tone it down a lot, or as much as I can, when I talk about it, but honestly, it was a moment in my life I will never forget. I put a lot of work into this program and set a high standard for myself. And maybe I didn't get a 4.0, but I worked hard for my 3.96. I have this pull to try to be humble about this and tone everything down, but screw it. This was big, surprising, and and special. When I was up on the stage accepting my award and later walking across the stage, I couldn't even hear the applause. I tune everything out and try my hardest not to trip.
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